If I’d only known then…

When I tell people that I have four kids, I often get a response of, “Wow! I’ll bet you’re busy!” Nearly always, I explain to them that four

was “the plan,” inferring that each child was “deliberate.” Yesterday, once again, I was talking with a friend about parenthood, why we chose to have four kids, etc. And, of course, the inevitable discussion about how much work it is.

Having four kids is a lot more work than I expected. When I dreamed of our “complete” family, I imagined bike rides, board games, busy family dinners, relay races, and, yes, even lots of arguing. But there was so much that never even entered my mind.

First of all, I didn’t think I’d get tired of the toddler/baby stage. But now that I have a one-year-old son who screeches whenever he sees food and continues to do so until he gets what he wants, I’m so very tired. I hate going to restaurants, I hate going to other people’s houses; I pretty much don’t like being in public with him because he gets into everything and his screeching is nearly unbearable. That’s not to say that I’m not proud of all of the “Oh, isn’t he so adorable!” and “Where did his blonde hair come from?” comments. It’s just that I dread the screeching. I’d much rather have people come to my house where he knows his boundaries (of which there are very few!) and I know how to get food in his mouth within about 3 screeches.

And I look forward to being able to go out at night without concern about him falling (and staying) asleep without me. I look forward to starting projects (anywhere from folding a single basket of laundry to working on a scrapbooking page) and finishing them in a reasonable amount of time. The start-stop-lose-all-momentum cycle is starting to wear on me. I mean, really, I’ve been in this phase for almost nine years!

Another thing I didn’t expect was the amount of emotional energy it takes to constantly switch between the different needs of four different human beings. Maxson’s clingy-ness, Elia’s drama, Anneliese’s passive-agressiveness, and Jeremiah’s ever-flowing stream of video game instructions can all occur within the same five minutes - and they often do several times per hour. I feel very confident about washing dishes, floors, laundry, and bathrooms all within the same morning, but dealing with four psyches? Now that challenges my self-confidence on the best of days.

The last unexpected thing that comes to mind at this moment is how much longer things take with four kids. Like getting everyone into the car. In the middle of a Thunder Bay winter. Which means snow pants, parkas, gloves, toques, and boots. Not to mention making sure everyone is dressed before we put the outerwear on. Not to mention hair, teeth, toe nails. I’m tired just thinking about it! (I’ve found a new appreciation for summer!)

Not only is there not enough time for chores and toe-nail clipping, the thing I really didn’t expect was the limited amount of time available for individual quality time. It’s been months since I read to my kids one-on-one. I don’t know if I’ve ever read to Maxson! Elia has a kids’ sewing machine, an Easy-Bake oven, some fun scrapbooking stuff.. all things I would love to do with her. I really, really haven’t had time for anything like that! Jeremiah has been asking about a date lately. Hmmm…. While I don’t feel it as much with Anneliese and Maxson who haven’t started school yet, I really miss spending time with my “big kids.”

I’ve told friends while having this conversation that I don’t really have fun taking care of four kids, I love each one and do want to make sure that each individual feels special and confident that I love them.

So yeah, this mother of four thing is really hard. But I don’t regret our choice to have a large family. I find strength and inspiration to keep going. (Kate Gosselin can do it with eight!) To know Jeremiah and to see what a champion he’s been this summer with pins in his leg - I’m so proud of him! - it’s worth it. To watch Elia care for her baby brother or show extra care to a new friend at school - I love seeing how God created her and is working in her! To see Anneliese grow in self-confidence and connect with people I thought she’d never even smile at - it makes me hopefully curious about the difference she’s going to make in our world. And when Maxson only screeches twice, then offers me a big smile and signs “please” - there’s hope yet that this difficult stuff will end!

I thought I had a realistic idea of what it would be like to have four kids. If I’d only known then what I know now - I wouldn’t change a thing.

Coco, The Colossal Colon, Comes To Town

A couple of months ago, there was a sign outside Intercity Mall saying that The Colossal Colon was coming to town and would be in the mall. For those of you who know me, you wouldn’t be surprised that I was really excited! Erin even made sure that I was able to go see it with the kids. Why would anyone be so excited over seeing a 40 ft replica of the human colon? You wouldn’t understand…

It’s getting closer!

When we got to the mall, we parked over by Zellers (for those of you in the States, it’s the poor equivalent to Target). I’m sure Erin thought it was funny that I was antsy each time she wanted to stop at a store. I just wanted to see the colon! (I’m a science nerd… OK!) Finally, we got there!

Can it be true?

At first, I was a little intimidated because there were not other adults crawling through Coco (yes, I think it’s a funny name, too). Then Erin reminded me that something like that hasn’t stopped me before… I’m a children’s pastor after all!

Boring adults not going through… doesn’t it look fun?

It was a lot of fun crawling through the colon. It was a pretty accurate replica with examples of different colon disorders inside. (I worked for a couple of years in a pathology lab where I saw many a sick colon removed from someone.) I did notice that after I braved crawling through, there were a couple of other adults who had previously be standing around watching their kids do it who decided to crawl through as well!

The kids had fun crawling through and even put up with my running commentary on the various lesions that were shown inside Coco.

Elia next to a mammoth polyp.

Jeremiah about to enter a cancerous portion of the colon.

Anneliese near some internal hemorrhoids.

Jeremiah even took some video the second time around. He did a pretty good job of catching all the labels.

Jeremiah’s 1:38 tour of Coco

It Comes In Clusters

About 2 weeks ago, Jeremiah worked up the nerve to go over a jump on his bike. It was only about 6 inches high, but I forgot to tell him to pull up on the handlebars. He leaned forward as his front tire went over and the bike flipped over, leading to his face plant/somersault. I was afraid to find out what his injuries were, but motherly love won out and I ran to him. He was moving fine, but there was a pretty bad gash on his cheekbone just below his eye. Henry was working out in the garden, so I ran back to tell him that I needed to take Jeremiah to Emerge.

The wound wasn’t as bad as it looked; it was basically a big hole that couldn’t be sewn up. Treatment was simply a band-aid with some antibacterial ointment and a watchful eye. But here’s the sad part: since it was “May Long Weekend” (Victoria Day), we had planned to go to a water park in Duluth with another family. One of Jeremiah’s best friends was there, but he didn’t get to swim with such a nasty wound. I felt so guilty (for encouraging him to take the jump even though he was scared; AND for not telling him to pull back), so I let him buy the video game he’d been saving up for. I paid the difference.

That was the first injury. He still has a small scab, but it’s pretty much healed.

Then, this past Sunday, he seemed to be falling a lot at church. By the time he went to bed that night, he had acquired a rug burn on his knee and a cut on his leg from his bike. That was nothing compared to what was in store for him Monday.

Last night was soccer, which means 2 hours of watching the Jeremiah and Elia practice and play. I’ve been feeling a bit overwhelmed by responsibilities this week, so I asked Henry if I could take off and pick up some groceries during Jeremiah’s game. When I got back, Henry told me, “You missed it. Jeremiah hurt his ankle pretty bad. He stopped the ball right when another kid kicked it really hard. The ball didn’t go anywhere! Great stop, but he probably sprained his ankle.” Our friends, the Walbergs, had taken him home so he could put his leg up and put ice on it during Elia’s game.

When we went to pick up Jeremiah about 80 minutes after the injury, he was still in severe pain, so Henry took him to Emerge as soon as the rest of us were dropped off at home and the groceries unloaded. I finally got a call around 11:00 pm. Henry told me that as soon as the doctor saw Jeremiah’s ankle, he said it needed to be x-rayed. A little while later, Henry called to say both his tibia and fibula were broken. An orthopedic surgeon needed to take a peek; they sedated him to set it; and he needed to stay overnight for the swelling to be monitored.

Well, Henry and Jeremiah got home at 5:00am. Neither had slept much, so they basically got situated and fell asleep. Jeremiah won’t be sleeping in his loft bed for awhile, so we’ll have to move his mattress to the floor. He’s on Tylenol with Codeine and is learning to use crutches. He’ll be going to the fracture clinic in the next week to get another cast put on.

I guess soccer is over for Jeremiah this year. Poor kid. Summer’s just around the corner; we plan to put our pool up sometime soon. Oh yeah, and I signed him up for swimming lessons in the beginning of July. That probably won’t happen. Neither will family bike rides or hikes. I’m not even sure about camps. I’m so disappointed for him!

But since he’s had so many injuries in the past month, this “cluster” should be over!

One more reason

You could say I have it all: I’m married to an outstanding man who knows what it means to “lay down his life” for me. I have four children who are well-behaved and well-liked. We have a mortgage on a house that is just right for us. We have a great community of friends. To top it all off, I have a deep sense of purpose.

But some days, m

y husband annoys me. Or the responsibility of my children just seems too much to bear. The house is in shambles; my friends are all busy with their own responsibilities; or I have reverted to “autopilot” and forgot what I was put on this earth to do.

That’s why I love Senseo. It’s that one faithful reason to wake up in the morning. All I have to do is put the pods in, push the buttons, and voila, the perfect cup of coffee. No measuring or grinding, under or overestimating.

When I lie inbed in the morning, trying to push the sleepiness away, figuring out my to do list for the day, my mind wanders down the hall, into the kitchen. My taste buds perk up at the thought of that perfectly warm cup resting in my hands with the aroma wafting up into my nostrils. And that’s what finally motivates me to roll out of bed.

So when all else fails, I’ve got Senseo to get me out of bed in the morning.

Time for Tea

When our pastor, Doug, came to our home in Corvallis to interview us almost 3 years ago, I offered him iced tea. He asked me if it was sweetened, and I told him, “Yes, with a bit of Splenda.” Since it was over 100 F that day, he guzzled down several glasses, even though it was almost 10:00 at night. I felt good that I was able to provide him with a beverage that pleased him! But now I know what he really meant when he asked if the tea was sweetened, and I’m not sure I gave him what he was looking for after all.

Henry has held several lunch meetings with his children’s ministry volunteers, and in the beginning, we almost always bought a couple of bottles of pop. But we soon learned that people here don’t drink as much pop as our American friends. Once again, another cultural nuance to adapt to. Many people choose water over pop! Another example of this is when our friends come over on Thursday nights for Grey’s Anatomy, only Christen accepts our offer of pop! Everyone else wants boring (albeit healthy) water.

But you know what these Thunder Bayans love to drink? Iced tea. I learned early on, though, what iced tea means to them. It comes in a 2L bottle, and it seems to be made of syrup, just like pop. Sans carbonation. I find it disgusting. It’s usually sickeningly sweet with some fake lemon flavour. I’m pretty sure it’s Lipton. But it’s what they like! Many of my Canadian friends drink it, and most really do NOT like my idea of iced tea.

When I was growing up, my mom drank so much iced tea, especially in the summer. She didn’t just scoop some of that tea powder into a glass and add cold water. (Blech!) I still can remember the big see-through-y Tupperware container she brewed it in. After steeping the Lipton tea bags in hot water, she added cold water and ice. Whoever was drinking it would add the amount of sugar they wanted, at most about 2 tsp. Mmmm.. Resfreshing!

When I lived in Oregon, I purchased a jar to make sun tea. (Yeah, “sun” tea in Oregon. I know. I didn’t have many opportunities to make it.) I’d brew it out in the sun, then add a perfect amount of Splenda, just sweet enough to accent the flavour of the tea. It tasted soooo good poured over a glass of ice.

Even though at least half of my Thunder Bay friends enjoy tea, neither of these options are very popular here. My friend Becky finds my “cold hot tea” disgusting. I think only one of my friends, Leslie, likes it like I do. When our pastors and wives visit Niagara for the district retreat, those who order iced tea clarify by saying “sweet tea.”

But to me, “sweet tea” means something entirely different. Henry lived in Kentucky, and he knows what sweet tea is.

Even though I live in Thunder Bay now, I still stand by my brewed iced tea, especially in the summer. It’s a summer staple, just like lemonade. But something happened recently.

It all started last Friday, an absolutely gorgeous day, when Carrie, my neighbour, brought a can of Lipton’s Citrus-flavoured Green Iced Tea to our little lunch picnic. She left it for me to try. At first, I was going to give it back. I think I even told her that I don’t really like canned iced tea. But later that afternoon, I pulled it out of my fridge and took a sip.

It was delicious. It was refreshing. And it was not sickeningly sweet. I ended up buying a couple of cases for us (including a diet one) and another one for a meeting we had on Sunday. And, unlike the leftover pop we always have, everyone took a can.

I think I finally have connected with these Thunder Bay iced tea-drinkers.

Growing Down

Erin was brushing Anneliese’s hair when Anneliese exclaimed to me, “Daddy, I’m not crying while Mom brushes my hair!” To which I said, “Wow! You’re growing up.” Then I joked, like I do with all my kids, “I don’t want you to grow up.”

Anneliese had the greatest answer for that one! “But, Daddy! I can’t grow down!”

HA! Three years old and so witty. She gets that from her mom.

Too Pooped To Eat

We went out to eat this past Sunday. Maxson fell asleep while he was eating. He slowly chewed on the pizza crust as his eyes got heavier and heavier. He, then, just dropped his head and arm and was out. It was too funny and too cute. It was the first time he’s done it. Just thought I’d share pics of the sleepy boy.

The Queen’s New Shoes

Once there was a queen who loved footwear. She loved them for the way they showed off, or didn’t show off, her feet. Her custom-designed closet housed everything from opened-toed sandals, peep-toed ballet flats, and sexy, spiky boots, to platform loafers, Uggs, and Chucks. She owned over ten thousand pair and loved them all. In order to enjoy them all she changed her shoes up to five times per day, requiring her to also change her outfit as many times. Adoring people from all over her kingdom and shoe-makers from afar admired the queen for her latest shoe design idea.

One day, the queen, shoe-lover extraordinaire, made an announcement. She had run out of new footwear design ideas. She put out a challenge to fans far and wide to design a new shoe for her to wear.

Amateurs and professionals alike sent in their entries: Uggs with heels, pumps with laces, spiky boots with open toes, and so on. Furry ballet flats, loafers with spiky heels. But nothing impressed the queen.

Then one day, a pair of brothers from the foam factory, Mr. and Mr. Croc, requested her audience. Hesitantly, she met them in the throne room, and there, she saw the most original, yet not-so-original shoe she had ever seen. It appeared to be an ordinary garden clog, but as the men presented her with the shoe, she saw it was so much more than ordinary. For one, it came in a variety of colours, from pastels, to muted tones, to neon hues. And in addition to the colour variety, there was a strap that looped around the wearer’s ankle, so as to keep the shoe on. And still beyond those two fascinating features, when she put the shoe on, she found the shoe’s comfort unsurpassed. She was clearly impressed.

To top it all off, as she had already made up her mind to sport the foam-factory workers’ new shoe, they revealed the most intriguing feature of all: little ornamentations to poke through the shoe’s ventilation holes! There were letters, flowers, bugs, cartoon characters, sports team insignias, horoscope signs, and more. Whatever hobby one might have, there was surely a little ornamentation for them to wear on their shoes.

Immediately, the Queen stood up from her throne, took a few minutes to allow her feet to bask in the comfort of her new shoes, then called to her crier. “I have found a new shoe! Gather the horses, the drummers, the trombone players, and the baton twirlers! We’ll have a parade to reveal the most original and most comfortable shoe yet!”

Within an hour’s time, the people were lining the streets to see what the foam-factory workers had presented the queen. They craned their necks in anticipation as they heard the trumpets herald her arrival. There she sat, her clog-clad feet resting gracefully on a satin pillow, and everyone ooh-ed and aah-ed. Her servants followed behind her, wearing the foam shoes in every colour imaginable, and each one had adorned their shoes with plastic insignias and replicas and pictures of their favourites things.

By the time the parade was over, every shoe store, every department store, every bargain store, and every super store was packed with people, searching out those shoes in their favourite colours. Within a week’s time, no one wore any other kind of shoe, no matter the occasion. The Misters Croc’s foam clogs were worn to the market, to church, to school, to the hockey arena, to fast food restaurants, to classy, $100-plate restaurants, to weddings… There was no occasion, no venue too classy for the Queen’s New Shoe.

One day, a mom was getting ready to meet her friends for coffee. She changed her peanut-butter-streaked pants, took off her spit-up-smeared tee-shirt and replaced it with a cute, figure-flattering top. She kissed her husband and four children goodbye and headed for the front door. She paused by the door, searching through the size 5T pink Crocs, size 1 camouflage Crocs, and several other pairs in several colours, to find hers. (She had selected pink to remind her of her femininity.) And as she slid her feet into them, she paused, just for a moment, then reconsidered.

Way in the back of the coat closet, she saw her sexy, chocolate brown, Sidney-Bristoe boots, which she had saved 5 years for by collecting spare change found in the laundry. Remembering how hot and attractive she felt when she wore them, she did the unthinkable.

About ten minutes later, she pulled up to Starbucks. Her friends (who only had 2 children each), were already seated with their beverage of choice. As she got out of the car, she began dreaming of the venti honey latte she’d soon be enjoying sans interruption from little voices or stops for potty breaks. She swung the door to the cafe open, took two steps inside, then froze. Everyone was looking at her.

“What?” she sheepishly asked.

Her friends encircled her, hiding her from the rest of the crowd. “Take off your boots!” one of them whispered.

“Don’t take another step until you do!” muttered another.

Slowly, she unzipped the boots, and peeled them off her feet. As they walked to the table, she noticed that the crowd had gone back to its normal hum of chatter, laughter, and clicking of laptop keyboards.

“I can’t believe you did that!” said the friend who wore Orange.

“Did what?” the mom of four (Pink) asked.

“You didn’t wear Crocs! We noticed it the minute you stepped inside the cafe! We haven’t heard the click-click of boots in months!” said Fuchsia.

Brown added, “Or the thump of Uggs, or the flipping of flops, for that matter!”

“What made you do it?” asked Teal.

Pink cautiously began. “Well, after I finally got out of the peanut-butter covered jeans and put on my favourite dark blue boot cut jeans, I was about to put my Crocs on, and…”

“And….?” Orange leaned in.

“..And I realized that I’m tired of feeling frumpy all the time. It dawned on me that ever since the Queen wore her Crocs in the parade, I have not felt sexy. I just feel like I’m loafing around in shoes that are just too big for me.”

The table was silent. They didn’t know what to say next.

“And to be honest,” said Pink, “I’ve always thought they were - well - ugly.” She gulped.

Teal muttered something.

“What was that?” asked Fuchsia.

Teal took a deep sigh and said, “Me too.”

Then it was as if chains had been broken and each of them set free as Fuchsia, Teal, and Brown admitted their dislike of the Queen’s New Shoe.

And in a moment of sheer daring and bravery, Fuchsia, who was gutsy anyway, hopped up on a table, and shouted, “We do not like the Queen’s New Shoes! We don’t! They’re ugly, they’re clumsy, and regardless of how comfortable they are, they make us feel frumpy! How attractive is it, anyway, that all of us look like we have clown feet? Eh?”

She sat back down, and her friends stared at her in shock. What had she just done?

Then, from behind the espresso machine, one of the baristas piped up, “Grande Tazo chai extra whip! I don’t like my crocs either!”

And the person who picked up the Chai shouted, “Neither do I!”

Which led to escaping moms, poor university students, bored business men, and broke baristas alike taking off their Crocs and throwing them into the air. As the customers left the restaurant, some sock-clad, some barefooted, but no one wearing the Queen’s New Shoes, they chatted about the favourite shoes they had neglected in their closets for far too long.

Anneliese Turns 3!

OK, so it’s been a month since Anneliese’s birthday, but I’m writing this blog so I get to post what I want. (Boy, it sounds like I’ve posted those exact sentiments before. I sure am a whiner.)

Anneliese had a My Little Pony birthday. For her cake, we did cupcakes, which is becoming more of a norm for birthday parties at our house because it is soooo much easier than cutting cake and serving it.

The Pony Cupcake Tower of Goodness!

As Erin was getting ready for the party, she found an idea in Family Fun Magazine for a chair cover. It was all made of felt and fun foam and glue. It was a fun touch to Anneliese’s special day.

The birthday chair.

The excited birthday girl with her birthday chair.

Anneliese was so excited that it was her birthday. We decided to have it in the middle of the day while the older kids were in school so that she could have just her friends to enjoy on her special day. The greatest thing for Erin and me that day was that she woke up and said, “I’m three! I’m going to use the potty now. No more diapers.” And she did! WooHoo! She has been using the potty ever since!

The proud, I-use-the-potty-now girl!

One of the activities at the party was to get face paint. Anneliese went with the rainbow. One of her friends wanted a cow. That one was a challenge for Erin. Unfortunately, I don’t have a picture of that one

Look at the wonderful rainbow!

Another one of the activities was making your own playdough. Again, it was an idea from one of Erin’s magazine clippings. (OK, I’ll have to admit that her keeping all those clippings was a good idea.) This activity was real fun and cool. You put all the ingredients into the pan, and viola! The kids play with the goopy goodness and end up with playdough!

Mmmm! Doesn’t that look good?

Even Auntie Christen got into the playdough making goodness!

One of the things Anneliese wanted her friends to do was jump out and say surprise to her. So, we made one of the Super Fort things and had the kids hide in it. Anneliese went out of the room and then came back in for her friends to say, “Surprise!” It didn’t quite work the first time because the girls who were hiding thought we were playing hide and seek The second try worked. It was cute!

The hiding surprise fort.

Anneliese had no problem blowing out her candles!

Get em all out!

Ever since Anneliese could talk, she’s asked for a pet. She love animals. Her favourite place to go is the pet store. Well, Erin and I aren’t too hot on pets right now, but we thought a Beta fish would be perfect. Anneliese was able to pick one out, and she named her “Meemo.” (Yes, she was trying to say Nemo, but Meemo is sooo much cuter!)

Oooo, a Beta tank!

Love at first site!

It was a fun party. We did have an encore that evening with just the family so that the older kids could celebrate with her. With this one, we had a real cake! The great thing about the cake was that it was free! There is a store in town called Quality Market that will give you a free cake on your birthday. Sweet!

Happy Birthday, big girl!

Super Super Fort

A couple months ago at Zellers, I noticed a cool new toy from Cranium called Super Fort, which apparently they don’t make anymore. Of course, I immediately thought of how well it would go at church with the JK/SK class. Erin then reminded me that I don’t have buy everything for church; we can buy stuff for home as well. So that is what we did. We bought the Super Fort and brought it home. What a great purchase!

Look at the wonderful box!

It came with a lot of pieces and easy directions to follow. It was interesting how they made the pieces to stick together. It’s all done with magnets and connectors.

Here’s a connector. Reminds me of those molecular kits from university.

Look at the sturdy joint.

Base pieces

The tubes connected into the holes and were held there by a magnet in the connectors. It even came with bases to keep your fort standing upright. It also came with clips to hold the brightly coloured nylon panels that can be used as walls. The clips also hold up blankets, which we used as well for walls. We lost no time in building one of the suggested forts in the directions.

Welcome to the Good Ship Zonio!

Plenty of room for the whole crew!

Let’s set sail! Aaarrggghhh mateys!!

The great thing about this Super Fort kit is that it also came with bags to store the connectors, bases, and clips as well as a larger bag that holds all the tubes, mats and nylon panels! It all packs nicely and is pretty light-weight. Hey, even a 3-year-old can carry it!

Super strength!

Unfortunately, I don’t think Cranium makes the Super Fort anymore. We found this in the clearance section. There was also a couple of expansion sets: one for tunnels, one for undersea adventures, and one to make sports challenges. By the way, I did end up getting one for the church.